On lunch.
Bored.
As usual, I'm still awesome.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Top 10 Things That Should Cease Next Year
I have compiled a short list of things this year which I hope mankind will leave out of the upcoming '09. Many of them are holiday themed, but this was completely by accident. They're just the ones fresh in my head.
1. Whenever you ask someone the date (asking them for example, "Is today the 10th?) they respond with "All day!" and a dumb little chuckle.
2. When people leave your house or work on New Year's Eve, and they say "See you next year!" Seriously, people. It's really getting old.
3. These stupid hats. You don't look cool.
4. I know it's a religious thing, but if everyone (they say it on the news, too) would stop saying "Peace and everlasting glory be upon him" everytime Muhammad was mentioned, news reports would be a lot shorter.
5. Quit saying "Jesus is the reason for the season". Let's not get into all the pagan roots, the german origin of the Christmas tree, or even the rotation of the Earth's axis...it's a cheesy and hokey saying.
6. This new year, 2009, Americans once again have another chance to start using their goddamn turn signals.
7. No...you are NOT the first person to make the USPS "going postal" joke, and it's still stupid.
8. Depoliticalcorrectnessitization. Put Oscar back in his Garbage can and away from the recycling, let Cookie Monster raid Mrs. Fields, and stop patronizing kids with this hokey Dora the Explorer and the Creepy Dude with the tickle-sword.
9. 3 words: Hanna Montana, Flamethrower.
10. NEW CHRISTMAS SONGS. I don't know about you guys, but I don't "throw on the Yule log", roast chesnuts, toast marshmellons, or tell christmas "ghost stories". Plus, all the religious Xmas songs have 8 verses, all of which say the same thing the previous one did (only using one syllable to say long words like "heav'n" and "glor'yus"). You need songs people can relate to. Create some songs about "Dashing through the Winter Wonderland" in attempt to find a Toys-R-Us that has a Wii.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
EUREKA!
Yes!
I've finally started posting stuff that no one gives a shit about!
Oh, wait. That was always the problem.
False alarm.
I've finally started posting stuff that no one gives a shit about!
Oh, wait. That was always the problem.
False alarm.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Rosenrot
This is the best song. Ever. Hands down.
The chorus is just so catchy.
I'll post the translation of the lyrics below...it helps you understand the point.
The chorus is just so catchy.
I'll post the translation of the lyrics below...it helps you understand the point.
"ROSENROT" (Rose Red)
A girl saw a little rose
It bloomed there in bright heights
She asked her sweetheart
if he could fetch it for her
She wants it and that's fine
So it was and so it will always be
She wants it and that's the custom
Whatever she wants she gets
---CHORUS---
Deep wells must be dug
if you want clear water
Rose-red, oh Rose-red
Deep waters don't run still
The boy climbs the mountain in torment
He doesn't really care about the view
Only the little rose is on his mind
He brings it to his sweetheart
She wants it and that's fine
So it was and so it will always be
She wants it and that's the custom
Whatever she wants she gets
(CHORUS)
At his boots, a stone breaks
Doesn't want to be on the cliff anymore
And a scream lets everyone know
Both are falling to the ground
She wants it and that's fine
So it was and so it will always be
She wants it and that's the custom
Whatever she wants she gets
(CHORUS)
Friday, December 19, 2008
This Week, on "The Dann Show"...
This week, Joy and I left for The Martin residence in the far off county of Dexterfordshire to bake Christmas cookies. Megan asked us to "make her a special one". So I had to make it good. I decided on something dashingly clever that Megan would identify with:
"LA!!!!!!!!!!"
Also, a few days ago, while feeling a bit tired and grumpy (not to mention unshaven...ick.), I went into the bathroom and took a cell phone snap of my mug.
You know you want some of this.
"LA!!!!!!!!!!"Also, a few days ago, while feeling a bit tired and grumpy (not to mention unshaven...ick.), I went into the bathroom and took a cell phone snap of my mug.
You know you want some of this.So...yeah. That all happened.
...that's it.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
That's Ummm...One Way to Put it.
So, there are many people who do not appreciate Rammstein's music, as I do. However, on YouTube today, I found a hilarious "interpretation" of Du Hast. It's friggin' hysterical and I wanted people to see it.
And in case you're totally lost...no, these are not the actual words.
And in case you're totally lost...no, these are not the actual words.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
A Bit from Kafir Girl
I quoted part of Kafir Girl's latest entry...it cracked me up.
"...verse 2 (of Abraham) hints at the terrible punishment that awaits those who doesn’t believe in the book (that wasn’t a book quite yet). Lets fast forward to those verses, shall we?
There are actually some new details in chapter 14 about the doom and gloom you, as a kafir, can expect after death.
Check it out:
(16) Before him is Hell, and he will get putrid liquid to drink.(17) He will sip it, yet will not be able to gulp it down. Death will crowd in upon him from every side, but die he will not. A terrible torment trails him.
Mmmmkay. So in hell, you’ll get a smelly drink that you’ll have to sip instead of gulp. And death will be all around you, only you won’t die. You’ll just sit there, sipping your smelly drink. It won’t be nice. The only thing is, I’ve experienced the whole putrid liquid thing before. I had access to nothing but instant coffee for an entire week, remember? It doesn’t even smell like real coffee. And you have to take little sips of it to keep from gagging on the shame of drinking instant. *Le sigh* I’m still a little bitter, I guess."
Funny shit.
"...verse 2 (of Abraham) hints at the terrible punishment that awaits those who doesn’t believe in the book (that wasn’t a book quite yet). Lets fast forward to those verses, shall we?
There are actually some new details in chapter 14 about the doom and gloom you, as a kafir, can expect after death.
Check it out:
(16) Before him is Hell, and he will get putrid liquid to drink.(17) He will sip it, yet will not be able to gulp it down. Death will crowd in upon him from every side, but die he will not. A terrible torment trails him.
Mmmmkay. So in hell, you’ll get a smelly drink that you’ll have to sip instead of gulp. And death will be all around you, only you won’t die. You’ll just sit there, sipping your smelly drink. It won’t be nice. The only thing is, I’ve experienced the whole putrid liquid thing before. I had access to nothing but instant coffee for an entire week, remember? It doesn’t even smell like real coffee. And you have to take little sips of it to keep from gagging on the shame of drinking instant. *Le sigh* I’m still a little bitter, I guess."
Funny shit.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Blogger is Crap Sometimes
Okay, so for some odd reason, Blogger fucked up my previous 2 posts once I added the video with Brian. It deleted the second video, then blended them all into one post...and now I can't delete the mess and start over.
So now I'm reposting the two In Living Color videos.
So now I'm reposting the two In Living Color videos.
JESUS CHRIST!
Now it's saying this second video isn't working, even though it works fine in the other post!
GGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Just go to the "I Found the Other One!" post if you want to see the video.
Starring Brian Bohley
A video for a "Sexual Orientation Reversal Pill" that Jeff and Brian made. Brian seems to always star in these things.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
"Beyond Bohley"
I haven't spoken to Brian in a long time. We caught each other on Google chat today, and hilarity ensued. Oh, Brian. If only we had had time for a Penguin Girl story.
(Please pardon the punctuation. Google-chat is not very Ctrl-V friendly).
---------------------------------------------------
me: you there?
Brian: yeah
me: coo coo
so how do you weigh so much?
Brian: I'm fat
me: I've got a small gut.that's where I store my victims, though
Brian: its all in my ass and gutmostly ass. Legs are big too, upper body is still thin so its misleading
me: fat legs, or muscle?Are you in your "gain weight, lose weight" phase?
Brian: yeah I gain/lose 10lbs all of the time
me: I'm just tryignt o not gain any back over the winter, until I can run more regularly. Running was all I ever did, except for a stint 2 years ago when I had a gym mebership. I was at my lowest of 190 then.winter sucks for exercise,
imo.imo = in my opinion. Gamer talk, sorry.
Sent at 9:24 PM on Tuesday
me: uh oh...did you have a heart attack? 'cuz I'm on a cardiac floor if you need assistance.
Tip 1: Don't die.
Tip 2: don't panic.
Brian: I think Im good, thanks
me: Tip 3: If you DO panic, at least you're still alive, efficiently accomplishing Tip one.
oh, there you are.you busy or something?
Brian: never too busy for my smuthers bro
me: awww...How's Nina?
Brian: she is stressed
me: why? She marrying you yet? LOL
Brian: ha
me: just kidding
Brian: that would make her so happybut sadly no
me: I know. So do it.
Brian: Im not a big fan of marriage
me: why?my parents divorced, and my dad's gay...I still like marriage.
Brian: too much legality to worry about
me: only if you think she's gonna cheat on you and steal your gazillions.that's where the "trust" part comes into it.
Brian: I like the common law routeI might stick with that
me: BOO!
Brian: you just want others to suffer
but you are alone on this my friendhow's joy?
me: alone...me?Joy was stressed yesterday. Had craploads of homework and finals. Done today though.
actually, it was more than craploads.
I think it qualified as a "shit ton".
Brian: yeah, nina always has a shit ton
me: is Nina coming with you in December?
Brian: no, she'll be in virginia
me: good god, why?on purpose?thats like going to Jersey!
Brian: her bro is stationed there in the navy so the whole family is meeting down there. I have to work both the day before and after christmas
me: The navy?
Brian: so Im stuck here
me:So he's a Seame----I can't say it
Brian: one of many
me: haha so what day you coming down? Let me put it this way...when are you available?
Brian: wellI might come home the weekend after christmas tooso it depends when I have xmas with my family
me: like...the 2 days after? Xmas is a Thursday, so...right after that?
Brian: yeah also, my car might be getting worked on the first weekendso I might not have a car
me: WHOA!
Brian: Jake is flying into chicago from alaska on friday the 20th
me: Look at Mr. High-Maintenance!
Brian: then we will be driving to Michigan either the 20th at night or early on the 21st
me: So...you'll get back to me, yes?
Brian: si
me: si si. So, how are things aside from that? I haven't talked to you in about 10 fortnights.
Brian: things are good...got a raise at work
me: sweet
Brian: after getting a promotion without pay
me: that's balls. So more responsibility without incentive.
Brian: yeah, but Im takin that place by storm
me: Oh christ, lol....don't use that phrase.
Brian: I handle "special projects"
me: Ahh...drug deals.
Brian: if you mean I need to take them to deal with the job yes, drug deals
me: I like to find new friends at the hospital by jokingly telling them I go to the
Childrens' Hospital to sell drugs to little kids....some people don't laugh. Which is ironic, since I joked about drugs all the time at my last job with the guy I worked with...and I just found out 3 months ago that he was arrested for dealing. That must've been why he got so mad when I would yell "Random drug tests!" at work.
Brian: nice
me: ...but I thought it was funny.
Brian: he mustve went postal
me: hahah....ha...ha old joke
Brian: or was this not at the post office?
me: no, post office.
Brian: so hows your job goin?get any nice raises?how about school?
me: Haha...you're funny. No, I don't get raises, just more work.
School is fine, but I'm getting nervous about applying to nursing school.
but they upped the entrants to 112 from 80 this year.so...score.
Brian: why so nervous?not do so well?
me: No....just always nervous about new shit.I hate feeling like the new kid.
Brian: ahh
me: People always steal my lunch money. Then I can't get the "Double Cheezeburger with fries and a fruit cup with a chocolate milk"...or those nasty cheese stick thingies. blech
Brian: I like bein the new kid. I get sick of people too easily
me: Hey, you remember when we were 12 and we were playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and you threw that plastic sai at me and it stuck straight in the hanging clothes next to my head?
Brian: of course
me: Good times.
Brian: that was like my most crowning achievement growing upI mustve told everyone I knew at the timethey never seemed to match my enthusiasm
me: Nah...you were champion of that big raft-thing in your pool.
Brian: just had to be there
me: ...but only because I couldn't swim.
Brian: yeah that helped
me: Made you popular.
Brian: I didnt need that to be popular with a nickname like bohldogg
me: Oh yeah...that's what did it. So...how is "Beyond Bohley" coming along?
Brian: Meh.
me: I'm gonna write it if you don't. It's your epic.
Brian: beyond bohley is before beginning
me: meh?
Brian: anyway, you and joy should come here, this location is far more desirable
me: Oh sure. I love the cold and getting mugged by architects.
Brian: better than being cold and mugged by.....anyone, which is what you suffer from. how much is gas over there?
me: About 1.79 right now, give or take a first-born.
Brian: nice. yeah it's the lowest its been in awhile, 2.04 here I filled up for under 30 bucks, it was amazing
me: I've developed a theory...which is quickly being proven.
Brian: What's that?
me: Take a good look when you buy gas...the lowest price (regular) is always blacked out with no light...but it always works.They expect you to press the first lit buttonI've tried this at many gas stations...all the same.
Brian: I know a lot of gas stations have it go right to leftso the first on the left is premiumbut I havent noticed the blacked outness
me: I've never seen the reversed order.muy interesante.
Sent at 10:08 PM on Tuesday
me: Did you die again?
Brian: sorry, had to just cycle the laundry
me: You never pay attention to my needs, Brian! I have FEELINGS!
Brian: what I think is dumb is all the people that pay with cash to save fucking 30 cents
me: yup. we don't really have that though. I've seen a few, but not many.
Brian: its like....hello....pay that for the convenience...or the people that drive out of the way to save a couple cents
me: People are always trying to spend 20 minutes (dollars) to save 5 (cents). There are always people here at work that SIT in the parking lot in their car waiting 15 minutes for someone to leave the ground floor spots, when there are empties 10 feet away.They burn more gas, and waste twice as much time. So stupid, it's almost funny.
Brian: almost. you laugh because there's no expression suitable
me: It's like mall parking lot stalkers during Christmas.
Brian: its just a nervous reaction
me: I, for one, don't find a slight walk.
Brian: yeah I like to pretend to get into someone else's carand then sprint over to mine real quick
me: but some people are destined for those Meijer electric carts.
Brian: so someone else gets the spot
me: I just get into mine, but then sit there reading a book or something until a line forms and they honk the dude into shame.
Brian: oooh nice. I've never read a book, just sat there wasting my time.
me: however, a few times the idiot has been dumb enough to get out of his car, go around to my window, and knock on it and ask if I'm leaving soon. I want to roll down the window and say "Here's your sign".
Brian: well I need to get goin...this is nina's last night here before she goes to boston for thanksgiving
me: better yet!
Brian: so I need to go spend some "quality" time with her
me: Sit in your car and act like you're cranking one off. He won't come to your window then.
Brian: I'd much rather pretend I'm cranking one off in a diner in front of the waitress.
me: By the way, this conversation is totally going on my blog. kainrafferty.blogspot.com
You'll be (more) famous!
Brian: what? so I can waste my time even more by reading this shit? I feel bad for your fans
me: nah, just print it out and read it in your car...while waiting for the line to queue up.
Brian: well they wont be yours for long, they will be asking for my blog soon enough
me: True...what is the link? BeyondBohley.com???
Brian: its been a long time. I haven't written in it for awhile and I was a whiny little bitch while I was dating Jenny.
me: Awww.
You need a hug.
Sent at 10:23 PM on Tuesday
And......you died again.
Is this goodbye?
Farewell?
Auf Wiedersehen?
Zum Girlfrenden lieven mich?
ACHTUNG!
Sent at 10:25 PM on Tuesday
Brian: adios
(Please pardon the punctuation. Google-chat is not very Ctrl-V friendly).
---------------------------------------------------
me: you there?
Brian: yeah
me: coo coo
so how do you weigh so much?
Brian: I'm fat
me: I've got a small gut.that's where I store my victims, though
Brian: its all in my ass and gutmostly ass. Legs are big too, upper body is still thin so its misleading
me: fat legs, or muscle?Are you in your "gain weight, lose weight" phase?
Brian: yeah I gain/lose 10lbs all of the time
me: I'm just tryignt o not gain any back over the winter, until I can run more regularly. Running was all I ever did, except for a stint 2 years ago when I had a gym mebership. I was at my lowest of 190 then.winter sucks for exercise,
imo.imo = in my opinion. Gamer talk, sorry.
Sent at 9:24 PM on Tuesday
me: uh oh...did you have a heart attack? 'cuz I'm on a cardiac floor if you need assistance.
Tip 1: Don't die.
Tip 2: don't panic.
Brian: I think Im good, thanks
me: Tip 3: If you DO panic, at least you're still alive, efficiently accomplishing Tip one.
oh, there you are.you busy or something?
Brian: never too busy for my smuthers bro
me: awww...How's Nina?
Brian: she is stressed
me: why? She marrying you yet? LOL
Brian: ha
me: just kidding
Brian: that would make her so happybut sadly no
me: I know. So do it.
Brian: Im not a big fan of marriage
me: why?my parents divorced, and my dad's gay...I still like marriage.
Brian: too much legality to worry about
me: only if you think she's gonna cheat on you and steal your gazillions.that's where the "trust" part comes into it.
Brian: I like the common law routeI might stick with that
me: BOO!
Brian: you just want others to suffer
but you are alone on this my friendhow's joy?
me: alone...me?
actually, it was more than craploads.
I think it qualified as a "shit ton".
Brian: yeah, nina always has a shit ton
me: is Nina coming with you in December?
Brian: no, she'll be in virginia
me: good god, why?on purpose?thats like going to Jersey!
Brian: her bro is stationed there in the navy so the whole family is meeting down there. I have to work both the day before and after christmas
me: The navy?
Brian: so Im stuck here
me:
Brian: one of many
me: haha so what day you coming down? Let me put it this way...when are you available?
Brian: wellI might come home the weekend after christmas tooso it depends when I have xmas with my family
me: like...the 2 days after? Xmas is a Thursday, so...right after that?
Brian: yeah also, my car might be getting worked on the first weekendso I might not have a car
me: WHOA!
Brian: Jake is flying into chicago from alaska on friday the 20th
me: Look at Mr. High-Maintenance!
Brian: then we will be driving to Michigan either the 20th at night or early on the 21st
me: So...you'll get back to me, yes?
Brian: si
me: si si. So, how are things aside from that? I haven't talked to you in about 10 fortnights.
Brian: things are good...got a raise at work
me: sweet
Brian: after getting a promotion without pay
me: that's balls. So more responsibility without incentive.
Brian: yeah, but Im takin that place by storm
me: Oh christ, lol....don't use that phrase.
Brian: I handle "special projects"
me: Ahh...drug deals.
Brian: if you mean I need to take them to deal with the job yes, drug deals
me: I like to find new friends at the hospital by jokingly telling them I go to the
Childrens' Hospital to sell drugs to little kids....some people don't laugh. Which is ironic, since I joked about drugs all the time at my last job with the guy I worked with...and I just found out 3 months ago that he was arrested for dealing. That must've been why he got so mad when I would yell "Random drug tests!" at work.
Brian: nice
me: ...but I thought it was funny.
Brian: he mustve went postal
me: hahah....ha...ha old joke
Brian: or was this not at the post office?
me: no, post office.
Brian: so hows your job goin?get any nice raises?how about school?
me: Haha...you're funny. No, I don't get raises, just more work.
School is fine, but I'm getting nervous about applying to nursing school.
but they upped the entrants to 112 from 80 this year.so...score.
Brian: why so nervous?not do so well?
me: No....just always nervous about new shit.I hate feeling like the new kid.
Brian: ahh
me: People always steal my lunch money. Then I can't get the "Double Cheezeburger with fries and a fruit cup with a chocolate milk"...or those nasty cheese stick thingies. blech
Brian: I like bein the new kid. I get sick of people too easily
me: Hey, you remember when we were 12 and we were playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and you threw that plastic sai at me and it stuck straight in the hanging clothes next to my head?
Brian: of course
me: Good times.
Brian: that was like my most crowning achievement growing upI mustve told everyone I knew at the timethey never seemed to match my enthusiasm
me: Nah...you were champion of that big raft-thing in your pool.
Brian: just had to be there
me: ...but only because I couldn't swim.
Brian: yeah that helped
me: Made you popular.
Brian: I didnt need that to be popular with a nickname like bohldogg
me: Oh yeah...that's what did it. So...how is "Beyond Bohley" coming along?
Brian: Meh.
me: I'm gonna write it if you don't. It's your epic.
Brian: beyond bohley is before beginning
me: meh?
Brian: anyway, you and joy should come here, this location is far more desirable
me: Oh sure. I love the cold and getting mugged by architects.
Brian: better than being cold and mugged by.....anyone, which is what you suffer from. how much is gas over there?
me: About 1.79 right now, give or take a first-born.
Brian: nice. yeah it's the lowest its been in awhile, 2.04 here I filled up for under 30 bucks, it was amazing
me: I've developed a theory...which is quickly being proven.
Brian: What's that?
me: Take a good look when you buy gas...the lowest price (regular) is always blacked out with no light...but it always works.They expect you to press the first lit buttonI've tried this at many gas stations...all the same.
Brian: I know a lot of gas stations have it go right to leftso the first on the left is premiumbut I havent noticed the blacked outness
me: I've never seen the reversed order.muy interesante.
Sent at 10:08 PM on Tuesday
me: Did you die again?
Brian: sorry, had to just cycle the laundry
me: You never pay attention to my needs, Brian! I have FEELINGS!
Brian: what I think is dumb is all the people that pay with cash to save fucking 30 cents
me: yup. we don't really have that though. I've seen a few, but not many.
Brian: its like....hello....pay that for the convenience...or the people that drive out of the way to save a couple cents
me: People are always trying to spend 20 minutes (dollars) to save 5 (cents). There are always people here at work that SIT in the parking lot in their car waiting 15 minutes for someone to leave the ground floor spots, when there are empties 10 feet away.They burn more gas, and waste twice as much time. So stupid, it's almost funny.
Brian: almost. you laugh because there's no expression suitable
me: It's like mall parking lot stalkers during Christmas.
Brian: its just a nervous reaction
me: I, for one, don't find a slight walk.
Brian: yeah I like to pretend to get into someone else's carand then sprint over to mine real quick
me: but some people are destined for those Meijer electric carts.
Brian: so someone else gets the spot
me: I just get into mine, but then sit there reading a book or something until a line forms and they honk the dude into shame.
Brian: oooh nice. I've never read a book, just sat there wasting my time.
me: however, a few times the idiot has been dumb enough to get out of his car, go around to my window, and knock on it and ask if I'm leaving soon. I want to roll down the window and say "Here's your sign".
Brian: well I need to get goin...this is nina's last night here before she goes to boston for thanksgiving
me: better yet!
Brian: so I need to go spend some "quality" time with her
me: Sit in your car and act like you're cranking one off. He won't come to your window then.
Brian: I'd much rather pretend I'm cranking one off in a diner in front of the waitress.
me: By the way, this conversation is totally going on my blog. kainrafferty.blogspot.com
You'll be (more) famous!
Brian: what? so I can waste my time even more by reading this shit? I feel bad for your fans
me: nah, just print it out and read it in your car...while waiting for the line to queue up.
Brian: well they wont be yours for long, they will be asking for my blog soon enough
me: True...what is the link? BeyondBohley.com???
Brian: its been a long time. I haven't written in it for awhile and I was a whiny little bitch while I was dating Jenny.
me: Awww.
You need a hug.
Sent at 10:23 PM on Tuesday
And......you died again.
Is this goodbye?
Farewell?
Auf Wiedersehen?
Zum Girlfrenden lieven mich?
ACHTUNG!
Sent at 10:25 PM on Tuesday
Brian: adios
"Chai-ded"
Normally I can ignore the beeping taking place behind me at my desk, but as one of the nurse's has accidentally jacked up the volume on the telemetry monitors, each beep is like a tent stake in my skull.
So I figured I would distract myself by relaying a story about this morning...
So after staying awake until 4:00am, then getting three and a half hours of sleep (Joy herself got one and a half), we left for class an hour early to get coffee and get to the Emich library to print Joy's class stuff. We arrive at the library (butt-ass cold), and we split up. I go for the coffee, she goes to the computers.
I go to the "Incredible Shrinking Cafe" and stand with 8 people in a line not much bigger than an elevator. There are TWO employees...one cashier, one making coffee.
I order "Two soy lattes, with one pump of vanilla syrup".
Simple.
I wait for the three people in front of me to get their drinks, then he gets to mine. They discuss something for a second, and then the coffee guy slowly and with turtle-like vigor, leaves the cafe.
They were out of soy milk. Like every place i ever go.
5 minutes go by.
Joy comes back.
I explain the situation, trying to maintain my cool as 9 more people line up for their drinkage. After another 2 minutes or so, Yurtle returns with the soy milk. Fresh from Egypt.
They finally make our stuff, and soy and I expeditiously leave, now with only 10 mintes to get out the door and 2 blocks away.
I taste the coffee.
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
"Ummm...this tastes like cinnamon. I said vanilla syrup, and they gave me cinnamon."
"It's not bad though." Joy said.
"Meh. It tastes cinnamony, but not the kind we like in the Cinnamon Dolce stuff. It's more like I'm drinking Red Hots."
We keep drinking.
The coffee is gross.
"I don't like it." I finally fess up. "It's also very...thin. It's almost a tea consistency."
Joy stops. "That's what it is..."
"What?"
"It's chai." She said. "They gave us chai."
"So wait..." I had to run through this. "I asked for 2 soy lattes, and I got chai. how the hell did that happen?"
She's almost laughing now. "I have no idea."
"That's it." I said. "I have to blog about this".
Now she is laughing.
"They crossed the line." I said. "They fucked with my coffee. The gloves are off."
We split off again and went to class.
I forced down half the Red hots Water, and chucked the rest.
...and bought some real coffee.
So I figured I would distract myself by relaying a story about this morning...
So after staying awake until 4:00am, then getting three and a half hours of sleep (Joy herself got one and a half), we left for class an hour early to get coffee and get to the Emich library to print Joy's class stuff. We arrive at the library (butt-ass cold), and we split up. I go for the coffee, she goes to the computers.
I go to the "Incredible Shrinking Cafe" and stand with 8 people in a line not much bigger than an elevator. There are TWO employees...one cashier, one making coffee.
I order "Two soy lattes, with one pump of vanilla syrup".
Simple.
I wait for the three people in front of me to get their drinks, then he gets to mine. They discuss something for a second, and then the coffee guy slowly and with turtle-like vigor, leaves the cafe.
They were out of soy milk. Like every place i ever go.
5 minutes go by.
Joy comes back.
I explain the situation, trying to maintain my cool as 9 more people line up for their drinkage. After another 2 minutes or so, Yurtle returns with the soy milk. Fresh from Egypt.
They finally make our stuff, and soy and I expeditiously leave, now with only 10 mintes to get out the door and 2 blocks away.
I taste the coffee.
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
"Ummm...this tastes like cinnamon. I said vanilla syrup, and they gave me cinnamon."
"It's not bad though." Joy said.
"Meh. It tastes cinnamony, but not the kind we like in the Cinnamon Dolce stuff. It's more like I'm drinking Red Hots."
We keep drinking.
The coffee is gross.
"I don't like it." I finally fess up. "It's also very...thin. It's almost a tea consistency."
Joy stops. "That's what it is..."
"What?"
"It's chai." She said. "They gave us chai."
"So wait..." I had to run through this. "I asked for 2 soy lattes, and I got chai. how the hell did that happen?"
She's almost laughing now. "I have no idea."
"That's it." I said. "I have to blog about this".
Now she is laughing.
"They crossed the line." I said. "They fucked with my coffee. The gloves are off."
We split off again and went to class.
I forced down half the Red hots Water, and chucked the rest.
...and bought some real coffee.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Is This Thing On?
Since my posts never, EVER get any feedback (especially the last few), I am now testing everyone.
IF YOU READ THIS, WRITE A COMMENT.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE COMMENT IS, JUST LEAVE ONE.
I WANT TO SEE IF ANYONE BOTHERS READING THIS CRAP, OR IF I AM LEADING A POINTLESS EXISTENCE AT THIS BLOG.
IF YOU READ THIS, WRITE A COMMENT.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE COMMENT IS, JUST LEAVE ONE.
I WANT TO SEE IF ANYONE BOTHERS READING THIS CRAP, OR IF I AM LEADING A POINTLESS EXISTENCE AT THIS BLOG.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Apparently, I Have a Thing For Squirrels
So after posting my last blog (See below. You have to read that one first), I've discovered what I already suspected for a long time. And no Sarah, it's not that.
I love squirrels.
They are the most adorable damn things I've ever seen.
I want a pet squirrel.
I want 6 pet squirrels.
Here are some photos of squirrels that I found, so that I may preach this idea to you, and hopefully you will understand why I think this way.
...
...Don't mail me a straitjacket.
I love squirrels.
They are the most adorable damn things I've ever seen.
I want a pet squirrel.
I want 6 pet squirrels.
Here are some photos of squirrels that I found, so that I may preach this idea to you, and hopefully you will understand why I think this way.
...
...Don't mail me a straitjacket.
SO FRIGGIN' CUTE...
IT MAKES THE BRAIN EXPLODE!
I Make My Own Science
I know the hospital is trying to replace the old tube stations. I thought you should be made aware of some research I did while I was the Dean at Cambridge.
Milling through the mass amounts of hard data I have on pneumatic tube systems, I discovered that the pros of the system were noted as early as the late 13th century, when Jibber-Jabber the Existentialist conquered the entire east coast of Delaware, he brought such pneumatic technologies to the new colony, hoping to solve the communication problems of The Old World, which had been forever plagued by phones which only rang twice, negating any possible implementations of answering machines.
However, Jibber-Jabber's colonists rebelled during the Great Teacup War of 1299, which factioned off those who thought saucers should be used versus those believing them to be abominations. The effective Saucer Gun developed by Sir Guinness McTeabag began a revolution in pneumatic warfare. Entire cities were laid to waste by this new hardware, and the investment in pneumatics got its second big jolt. Over the next seven centuries, major developments in pneumatics became mainstream in Jibber-Jabber's societies, and were used in everything from toothbrushes to telephones, from footwear to fondue. In 1902, Alexander Van Footenmouthen developed the first widespread machinery for the transmission, or "Fwooshing" as it was called, of tubes from point A to point B, and it became a modern marvel for communications. The Era of Pneumatic Tubes was nigh.
However, only since the late 1990's, with the development of DNA testing, was the true horror of pneumatic tubing made evident. As more and more tests were made public, the world was made aware of the dangers:
1. For some reason, humans exposed to the dangerous pneumatoid radiation were not aging or dying. Jibber-Jabber himself was asked about this aspect at his 843rd birthday party, at which he responded "Oh, Yeah. I never thought of that."
2. Although the aging process ceased, a whopping 125% of those exposed developed acute leprosy. Sir Guinness McTeabag, who himself had issues with his arms constantly falling off, merely stated "My bad." When asked about how percentages were over 100%, McTeabag said "Some people got it twice. Bad luck."
3. The populous exposed to pneumatoid radiation experienced a dramatic loss in appetite, save for Kraft Mac and Cheese. This was a worry for awhile, but over time, the world began to get used to the congealed goodness.
...Kraft refused to comment.
While the evidence is compelling, one should be aware of the process involved in discovering the photons emitted by the Pneumatoid Radiants. Photons have extensive mass, which is odd, because they aren't even catholic.
I have constructed a detailed algorithm to display this process:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3043/2659530809_579e49f4a1.jpg
Wait a sec. That's not it. That's a cute little squirrel.
HOW ADORABLE!
Anyway, here's that formula:
http://www.ucosoft.com/wp-content/uploads/Image/fml.png
This doesn't really explain anything. However, it does show that with enough equations and references to Ancient Acadia (did I mention that the Code of Hammurabi closely resembles that of The Ten Commandments, but was written 600 years earlier? How about Gilgamesh?), one's credibility is increased tenfold.
On a positive note, I believe we COULD find a possible market for running the new tube system on porridge. I don't think anybody eats it anymore.
Milling through the mass amounts of hard data I have on pneumatic tube systems, I discovered that the pros of the system were noted as early as the late 13th century, when Jibber-Jabber the Existentialist conquered the entire east coast of Delaware, he brought such pneumatic technologies to the new colony, hoping to solve the communication problems of The Old World, which had been forever plagued by phones which only rang twice, negating any possible implementations of answering machines.
However, Jibber-Jabber's colonists rebelled during the Great Teacup War of 1299, which factioned off those who thought saucers should be used versus those believing them to be abominations. The effective Saucer Gun developed by Sir Guinness McTeabag began a revolution in pneumatic warfare. Entire cities were laid to waste by this new hardware, and the investment in pneumatics got its second big jolt. Over the next seven centuries, major developments in pneumatics became mainstream in Jibber-Jabber's societies, and were used in everything from toothbrushes to telephones, from footwear to fondue. In 1902, Alexander Van Footenmouthen developed the first widespread machinery for the transmission, or "Fwooshing" as it was called, of tubes from point A to point B, and it became a modern marvel for communications. The Era of Pneumatic Tubes was nigh.
However, only since the late 1990's, with the development of DNA testing, was the true horror of pneumatic tubing made evident. As more and more tests were made public, the world was made aware of the dangers:
1. For some reason, humans exposed to the dangerous pneumatoid radiation were not aging or dying. Jibber-Jabber himself was asked about this aspect at his 843rd birthday party, at which he responded "Oh, Yeah. I never thought of that."
2. Although the aging process ceased, a whopping 125% of those exposed developed acute leprosy. Sir Guinness McTeabag, who himself had issues with his arms constantly falling off, merely stated "My bad." When asked about how percentages were over 100%, McTeabag said "Some people got it twice. Bad luck."
3. The populous exposed to pneumatoid radiation experienced a dramatic loss in appetite, save for Kraft Mac and Cheese. This was a worry for awhile, but over time, the world began to get used to the congealed goodness.
...Kraft refused to comment.
While the evidence is compelling, one should be aware of the process involved in discovering the photons emitted by the Pneumatoid Radiants. Photons have extensive mass, which is odd, because they aren't even catholic.
I have constructed a detailed algorithm to display this process:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3043/2659530809_579e49f4a1.jpg
Wait a sec. That's not it. That's a cute little squirrel.
HOW ADORABLE!
Anyway, here's that formula:
http://www.ucosoft.com/wp-content/uploads/Image/fml.png
This doesn't really explain anything. However, it does show that with enough equations and references to Ancient Acadia (did I mention that the Code of Hammurabi closely resembles that of The Ten Commandments, but was written 600 years earlier? How about Gilgamesh?), one's credibility is increased tenfold.
On a positive note, I believe we COULD find a possible market for running the new tube system on porridge. I don't think anybody eats it anymore.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
A Poem About Frustration and Parents
So, one of my friends on Facebook teaches Sunday school at her church. She knows my position, and she and I joke back and forth constantly. Today, she told me she had Parent-Teacher conferences coming up...so I wrote her a poem.
Before anyone reads this, I must remind all of you that I love kids. I just happen to open my brain sometimes and let the creative juice leak out onto the tarmack.
Before anyone reads this, I must remind all of you that I love kids. I just happen to open my brain sometimes and let the creative juice leak out onto the tarmack.
"Sunday School Showdown"
Teachers, parents, children too.
The conferences will now ensue.
The children will cry, their parents will lie,
When you say their kid eats way too much pie.
They'll tell you it's fine, and say not to whine,
while all of this time, their kid is porcine.
You cannot ignore through the rest of the course,
the one kid in class who's as big as a horse.
You talk to the mom of the bully in black,
who takes from the others or else they get smacked.
You tell her the kid needs to straighten his act,
Or next time he leaves his spine will be cracked.
They call the police for the things that you say,
for threatening kids, they will take you away.
You pull out your magnum and blow them away,
the cops won't be cuffing you...not on this day.
You whip out the other, and now you go dual,
'cuz they fucked with you, and now you get cruel.
You shoot out the windows and break all the glass,
so never again can they use this class.
You blast all the coppers who come through the door,
"You ain't gonna fuck around with me anymore!"
You steal all the bibles, and that's just as well...
you can donate them all to the nearest hotel.
You go to the tithe box and break off the lock,
It goes in your bag with the rest of the stock.
You eat all the snacks that you saved for the class,
and you don't really care if you get a big ass.
You'll be miles away when the SWAT team comes in,
You'll be running so fast that you'll stay nice and thin.
You run to Bermuda, a boat to Pengini,
and dish out some cash for a new Lamborghini.
You drive to the post office and make a dictation,
"I hereby offer my firm resignation".
You stick on a stamp, and send it away,
They already knew this, but it felt good to say.
Never again must you lie to the faces,
of bullies and brats to be put in their places.
You don't have to say that they do a good job,
of raising their kid who is really a snob.
In time they will see the fact that is errant.
There are no bad children, just rotten parents.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
A Short Poem
SNOW
Snow. The abstract thought that is water, frozen in pain.
But fret not, lest winter's grasp thwart thy ambitions!
Snow. The abstract thought that is water, frozen in pain.
But fret not, lest winter's grasp thwart thy ambitions!
Tread lightly, tread calmly, and disturbeth not the stalactites...
Looketh out! Die spikens spielen und fallen der headed splitten!
Nay.
Mine eyes see naught but water which condenses not.
Barometrics freeze thy blood cold. Such is ice, unhindered.
The time for sleddage...is nigh.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Barack Obamaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barack Obama will be our next president.
It almost sounds unreal to say that, especially with all the constant hatred thrown around these days. I find that I am often surrounded by people either at work or school who are always talking shit about the Democrats, and now Obama especially.
I find it quite sickening that while we are transitioning out of an unpopular presidency, some people still hold onto the oddball thought that the Republican party will ever stand for anything except intolerance, religious prejudice, greed and lies. You really think that after 8 years of constant, repetitiive lies, misdirection, blatant disregard for national laws (good example is going to war in Iraq when U.N. said a big, fat "No"), and disrespect for anyone who does not agree with their self-serving idiology. You know, the part where if I don't agree with the ridiculous Iraq War that I'm obviously unpatriotic and "with the terrorists" as Bush put it.
Then we had the Republican presidential campaign this year, which was full of Sarah Palin calling Obama a terrorist, spreading rumors that he was a Muslim, and basically doing the same thing the Repubs do every election...tell Americans that if you don't vote for them: Your family will lose their home, your kids won't go to college, the democrats will raise your taxes, your husband will become infertile, your pets will go rabid, your crops will turn to Jello, your parents will die in a freakish yacht accident, you'll become a leper, you'll lose your job, the democrats will make the U.S. a Communist state, and your wife will suddenly want to get a career of her own.
Plus...He's black! ZOMG!!!!!!!
Look, enough of this crap. I know I only blog about things when I'm pissed off, and this was supposed to be a nice, happy post. Unfortunately, I find myself happier when I point out Republican hypocrisy, rather than bask in the obvious joys of liberalism.
I find it hard to believe how anyone could not be liberal.
You believe that CEOs don't deserve their billions, and that the money could help Americans better by going to middle and lower class workers?
You believe that everyone deserves a chance to obtain a good career and support their family, without having to be an heir(ess)?
You realize that in order to educate our children and provide healthcare to our people, we have to get that public spending from taxation (it's the truth, people. Constant "tax breaks" are not the wonder they claim to be).
You realize that true patriotism comes not from blind obedience to your government, but from the courage to dissent when needed? The founding fathers did. This country was not formed because the settlers thought the King of England was "a pretty fair dude".
If you believe all of the above, and you believe in a fair and just society..HOW CAN YOU VOTE REPUBLICAN?!
I hear people talk about being liberal like it's a disease.
"I hate him...he is so liberal!".
Which is a description of all the above statements I made. Let's replace this with an equally silly statement, with just as much anger and vigor.
"I hate him...he likes puppies!"
Holy shit! Whatever shall we do?!
To quote my brilliant mother, "How can you be liberal enough?"
I share that sentiment.
I realize that I'm rambling now, so I'll shut up. The point is that the Republican party has done nothing for the past decade (and I can go much farther if I mention the blight on this planet that was the Ronald Reagan presidency) except turn us all against each other and set our moral compass back fifty years.
What horrid things did the Democrats do?
...
ummm....
Well...let's see...
...Oh! Clinton lied about getting a blowjob.
Shame, shame.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
What's Your THACO?
So, I only played D&D a few times, and I must say that aside from creating a unique character (which was always the fun part), the rest was boring as watching a hammer rust.
However, I began thinking about the alignment system given to characters to determine their purity, judgment, etc., and being the dork that I am, I sat here at my desk (bored) and thought all of a sudden...
"Why don't I make a list of my family members' alignments?"
Pure dorkage.
For those unfamiliar with the system, it is made up of 2 words. The first describes your attittude toward society as a whole, and the second describes your morality. The hierarchy is as follows:
LAWFUL GOOD - You are a saint. A person of faith, and one who always follows the rules of society and law.
LAWFUL NEUTRAL - You typically believe strongly in Lawful concepts such as faith, order and rules, but don't always agree with "the system" and often follow a personal code as opposed to the status quo.
LAWFUL EVIL - You typically obey your superiors and keep your word (trustworthy), but care nothing for the rights and freedoms of other individuals.
---
NEUTRAL GOOD - A neutral good character is guided by his conscience and typically acts altruistically, without regard for or against Lawful precepts such as rules or tradition. A neutral good character may cooperate with lawful officials but does not feel beholden to them.
TRUE NEUTRAL - You are neither good nor evil. You see these as mere prejudices and extremes. You strive towards a balance in all things. This is the only alignment a druid can be.
NEUTRAL EVIL - You are typically selfish and have no qualms about turning on allies-of-the-moment. You have no compunctions about harming others to get what you want, but you won't go out of your way to cause carnage or mayhem when you see no direct benefit from it.
---
CHAOTIC GOOD - Chaotic Good is known as the "Rebel" alignment. A chaotic good character favors change for the greater good, disdains bureaucratic organizations that get in the way of social improvement, and places a high value on personal freedom.
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL - A character of this alignment is an individualist who follows his or her own heart, shirks rules and traditions. They typically act out of self-interest, but do not specifically enjoy seeing others suffer.
CHAOTIC EVIL - Characters of this alignment tend to have little respect for rules, other peoples' lives, or anything but their own selfish desires. They typically only behave themselves out of fear of punishment.
I thought about this because of the zodiac thing going around, but this is a more personal adaptation, and has to do less with the chance of when you were born.
So here goes...
Dadd: LAWFUL NEUTRAL.
Momm: TRUE NEUTRAL.
Jenn: LAWFUL NEUTRAL
Libby: CHAOTIC GOOD.
Sarrah: CHAOTIC NEUTRAL.
Dann: CHAOTIC GOOD.
Meggan: NEUTRAL GOOD.
Chhrisco: NEUTRAL GOOD.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (for examples of the extremes):
--------------------------------------------------------------
Doc Holliday: NEUTRAL EVIL.
Karl Rove: LAWFUL EVIL.
Sarah Palin: CHAOTIC EVIL.
Nuns: LAWFUL GOOD.
(I didn't say "The Pope" because he's politically motivated)
Friday, October 24, 2008
"The Shining Star"
Working at the post office made me an angry person. Well...angrier. When I became vegetarian, I was made fun of for weeks, being called a hippie and that "animals were born to be food." When I wanted to buy a foreign car for fuel efficiency, I was openly called a Communist by several people at work. When I told them I was running a marathon, the biggest response I got was "Oh. That's nice." I wanted to shoot myself whenever I walked in the door.
Since coming to the hospital in November of 2007 (almost a year now), it has since been a total turnaround. The marathon came around again this year, I had people sending me emails cheering me on. I had nurses stop by my desk and talk to me for 10 minutes, asking me about how I got into running, how often I run, and what my other plans were. When the Civic Open came around, over 10 nurses and doctors told me they were actively trying to get the night off to come see me sing. Today, my first day back to work since the competition, I returned to find a huge, hand-made card on my desk.
The front had my name written on it, and a huge star "Stress Ball" that they had written "Our Shining Star" on it in pen, as well as the name of the song I sang.
The last page had a large message for me.
I swear, if I hadn't been at work, I would've cried.
Since coming to the hospital in November of 2007 (almost a year now), it has since been a total turnaround. The marathon came around again this year, I had people sending me emails cheering me on. I had nurses stop by my desk and talk to me for 10 minutes, asking me about how I got into running, how often I run, and what my other plans were. When the Civic Open came around, over 10 nurses and doctors told me they were actively trying to get the night off to come see me sing. Today, my first day back to work since the competition, I returned to find a huge, hand-made card on my desk.
The front had my name written on it, and a huge star "Stress Ball" that they had written "Our Shining Star" on it in pen, as well as the name of the song I sang.
The next page had a pasted picture of a guy dancing and singing, and said "From all the 4BC staff! You can use the stress ball for whenever you get nervous."
The last page had a large message for me.
...and was signed by everyone on my floor.
Some even wrote me a little message.
I swear, if I hadn't been at work, I would've cried.
Like a baby.
A baby with Colic.
This was the nicest thing they couldn't ever done. These people haven't even known me for a year, and they cheered me on, sent me congratulations, and even spent money to come see me perform.
Somehow, getting Second Place didn't matter anymore.
being upset over a decision means nothing compared to the number of friends I had behind me that night.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Stumper
I have a pop quiz question for anyone who could figure it out. I made it up, too. So obvious antagonists (Chris) will emerge from the woodwork.
What phrase is this used to remember?
"My Mother Never Cooks Steak Ever, Sarah!"
Ten points to the one who figures it out.
...Of course, this requires a bit of knowledge about Me, too.
And don't forget to participate in my Lyrics Game (see post below this one).
What phrase is this used to remember?
"My Mother Never Cooks Steak Ever, Sarah!"
Ten points to the one who figures it out.
...Of course, this requires a bit of knowledge about Me, too.
And don't forget to participate in my Lyrics Game (see post below this one).
Lyrics Game
I stole this idea off another blog I found.
Everyone who comments, leave part of a song with lyrics that match the theme.
They did it with minerals, but I'm choosing Days of the week.
I'll go first:
(by the way, you only need one day in your response. I just have a whopper.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"I don't care if Monday's blue.
Tuesday's gray and Wednesday, too.
Thursday, I don't care about you; It's Friday, I'm in love."
The Cure
-----------------------------------------------------------Friday, October 10, 2008
"The Marathon Men...er People", Take Two
After many months of training, route changes, speed runs, new training schedules, near drop-outs (that would be me), and gallons of gatorade...the marathon is once again upon us.
This year, we have vowed to run faster, indeed...but more importantly, smarter.
This year, we have vowed to run faster, indeed...but more importantly, smarter.
Last Year's TriumphIn order to avoid certain follies of last year, and hopefully improve our stamina, we have elected the following:
1. I'll be bringing a Fanny pack. Insert laughs here. Hopefully it will be more of a Fanny belt, since all it will need to hold will be goo, my cellphone, and some Ibuprofen.
2. Oh yes, the Ibuprofen. Last year, Sarah and I remember seeing salvation: Two teenage girls manning a table with cups of Ibuprofen. Sarah promptly screamed and jumped at them. The girls of course thought they were about to be eaten alive. However, the point is that this station was located far after the pain had sunk into our butts, at the 20-mile mark.
This year, the "Fanny Belt" will contain painkillers for the appropriate...ohh....15 mile mark, give or take.
3. Hopefully, this year's Gatorade will not be the High Sodium crap. It gives you a wicked stomach jumble.
4. TO THOSE ACCOMPA
NYING US FOR SUPPORT:I will bring my cellphone this year, hopefully stuffing it in the "belt" or putting it in my fleece vest, which I may or may not wear. This way, I can call you guys when we will arrive at key places and mile-markers.
TEAM UBERCUL
"You've got a medal? I've got a medal, too!"
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Libby's Blog, Revisited.
Libby's blog had a few interesting points I wanted to bring back up, especially since people are still pining for the ridiculous, sexist, crazy-psycho-christian who want's America to be run by the Bible.
The thought gives me nightmares.
FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE:
Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."
THE FACTS:
A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.
FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY:
"We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."
THE FACTS:
A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.Why or why will no one check sources! Politicians in general should be careful what they say, as lying only makes them look untrustworthy and mean. In this case, they look desperate and stupid; which could have been easily avoided.One comment about the taxes - the reason Republicans don't like it is that a lot of them (in politics) are wealthy. They would get a tax increase in order to provide relief to the middle class. This is exactly what we need; less coddling and special interests to the rich. This economy is flat out disgusting, and we all need some help before every family who makes under $100,000 a year goes bankrupt.
The thought gives me nightmares.
FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE:Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."
THE FACTS:
A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.
FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY:
"We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."
THE FACTS:
A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.Why or why will no one check sources! Politicians in general should be careful what they say, as lying only makes them look untrustworthy and mean. In this case, they look desperate and stupid; which could have been easily avoided.One comment about the taxes - the reason Republicans don't like it is that a lot of them (in politics) are wealthy. They would get a tax increase in order to provide relief to the middle class. This is exactly what we need; less coddling and special interests to the rich. This economy is flat out disgusting, and we all need some help before every family who makes under $100,000 a year goes bankrupt.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Polar Bears
Polar bears are SO FRIGGING ADORABLE!
,
,
Oh. You were expecting me to write something about the presidential debate?
I'll write a haiku or two:
Ahem...
McCain condescends,
And he has dumb ideas.
STOP THE GOD DAMN LIES.
McCain lies too much.
Obama kept correcting.
McCain, with lipstick.
John has a record.
Do you know McCain's record?
John's got a record!
Repubs are insane.
Keep believing those lies, folks.
...Better learn Swedish.
Instead of Palin,
Let's have a Polar Bear veep.
They know Bush Doctrine.
What, you want tax cuts?
You want healthcare and school funds?
Can't have it both ways.
Once upon a time,
McCain goes to the bathroom.
"Wait...that's my elbow."
"Oh, drill baby, drill!"
Exxon loves those tax breaks, yes.
Electric car who?
Friday, September 19, 2008
New Things I Wish I Hadn't Learned
WARNING:
Frightening and saddening images of things horrible
people do for their own agenda.
So, I realize that I've been hacking away at Sarah Palin lately, pointing out her hypocrisies, screaming and ranting about all her lies...
But now I have new ammo.
Being the crazy-psychotic-vegan-altruistic-hippie-who cares too much about animals, I have since come into the knowledge of the fact that Palin:
1. Has fought in the past, and is still fighting, to remove polar bears from the endangered species list, because it would cause problems for her oil-drilling agenda.
2. Even worse, she is an advocate AND a participant of AERIAL WOLF KILLINGS, in order to "cull" the wolf population. This is in conjunction with the hypocrisy that she is so adamant about being pro-life, yet kills animals for sport.
When you lie to the world, you get on my Shit List.
When you fuck with the animals, you go straight to the top of it.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Guns + Holy Bible = Oxymoron
Sigh.
Sometimes life is depressing.
It is particularly depressing whenever I decide to look around the internet and spot all the people who call themselves good Americans, yet really...well...they have about as much independence and logic as an old softball.
With mud on it.
That landed in dog mess.
You get the idea.
Anyway, as I tend to do, I went browsing the old Myspace and Facebook pages, looking around at all the people I could (not just people I know either...a guy needs a control group) and discovering that my lack of faith (no better word for it, really) in humanity is astonishing.
Nah, strike that.
Not faith in humanity. Faith in Americans.
Anyone remember "Schindler's List"? When Liam Neeson is talking to Ralph Fiennes (the hardcore nazi), he explains that having power is not killing everyone and taking what you want. Real power is deciding to pardon those who transgress you; Learning to forgive them, and not giving in to your ability to show off and slaughter.
If you see my segue here...
The U.S. is the most powerful country in the world. How do we exercise that power?
By invading places we aren't wanted?
By telling people that if they don't like our country to "go back where you came from?"
By persecuting every new culture that enters our borders, forgetting our own damn roots since every single one of our families were once immigrants?!
Or maybe...
Maybe we should see that that power could be used for diplomacy, and not the tradition of "I have the bigger gun, so I win".
Maybe by encouraging diversity and not saying "You look funny and talk differently so I don't like you". (Take the terms "Habibs" and "A-rabs" for an example if you will. I spy cousins of the N-bomb).
Maybe by opening up ourselves a little religiously as well. One of the major areas we get made fun of by other countries for is the fact that everything from TV programs to school subjects to presidential elections are chock full of religion. We are one of the only countries in the world who is over 90% religious. (I mean come on, Israel is over 37% agnostic/atheist!) We could take a lesson from less religious places like the Scandinavian Peninsula (Sweden, Finland, Denmark) who are in the top 6 for least religious, yet have the strongest economies in the world (and let's not forget...less wars). [These statistics were taken from TIME magazine.]
It really sickens me that the U.S. policy has been to keep your bible out in front of you, and your gun(s) behind your back. It seems to me like the world's largest oxymoron. I don't think Jesus bought himself a .45 at Walmart, in case the fish trick got him laughed offstage. Lies have replaced good policy, and we seems to be fine with that.
I understand that the U.S. has a large military, and I'm obviously not going to change that (or the "terr-ists" win). However, I fail to see how my lack of being a sheep, and my lack of 400 U.S. flag decals makes me any less of a citizen. After all, George Bush Sr. said he didn't think atheists should be considered citizens...and Sarah Palin saying that In God We Trust was "good enough for the founding fathers, and good enough for me". It's too bad that phrase was put on currency in the 1950s. But we don't need facts anymore, just a loud voice. Which many of us on the other side of the fence are reluctant to use.
After reading many things lately on U.S. norms and religion (as I said, the 2 are always joined at the hip), I have been opened up to a side that I hitherto have not spotted.
Religion has undue respect.
Don't believe in a war? Conscientious objector?
"YOU COWARD! YOU UNPATRIOTIC COMMIE!"
Oh, it's against your religion?
"You're a brave man, I respect your views."
BULLSHIT.
Why do people respect bishops? and the pope?
They're just men in funny hats who believe the same weird crap!
Why give them any more respect than a guy walking down the street?
I'm no longer going to give religion the blind respect that people believe it "deserves". I'm not going to go out of my way to insult anyone (anymore than I probably have in my rants), because I have morals. But if I'm told to respect someone's silly beliefs...sorry. It's not happening.
This country needs to pull itself out of the endless lies and stupidity. We need to stop believing all the shit the media and politicians feed us, just so they can get elected and then foreclose your home and steal your wallet. I've known too many people (and I'm not even counting the entire country for the last 8 years here) who have been screwed over and lied to by whom they described as "a good, christian man".
Sometimes life is depressing.
It is particularly depressing whenever I decide to look around the internet and spot all the people who call themselves good Americans, yet really...well...they have about as much independence and logic as an old softball.
With mud on it.
That landed in dog mess.
You get the idea.
Anyway, as I tend to do, I went browsing the old Myspace and Facebook pages, looking around at all the people I could (not just people I know either...a guy needs a control group) and discovering that my lack of faith (no better word for it, really) in humanity is astonishing.
Nah, strike that.
Not faith in humanity. Faith in Americans.
Anyone remember "Schindler's List"? When Liam Neeson is talking to Ralph Fiennes (the hardcore nazi), he explains that having power is not killing everyone and taking what you want. Real power is deciding to pardon those who transgress you; Learning to forgive them, and not giving in to your ability to show off and slaughter.
If you see my segue here...
The U.S. is the most powerful country in the world. How do we exercise that power?
By invading places we aren't wanted?
By telling people that if they don't like our country to "go back where you came from?"
By persecuting every new culture that enters our borders, forgetting our own damn roots since every single one of our families were once immigrants?!
Or maybe...
Maybe we should see that that power could be used for diplomacy, and not the tradition of "I have the bigger gun, so I win".
Maybe by encouraging diversity and not saying "You look funny and talk differently so I don't like you". (Take the terms "Habibs" and "A-rabs" for an example if you will. I spy cousins of the N-bomb).
Maybe by opening up ourselves a little religiously as well. One of the major areas we get made fun of by other countries for is the fact that everything from TV programs to school subjects to presidential elections are chock full of religion. We are one of the only countries in the world who is over 90% religious. (I mean come on, Israel is over 37% agnostic/atheist!) We could take a lesson from less religious places like the Scandinavian Peninsula (Sweden, Finland, Denmark) who are in the top 6 for least religious, yet have the strongest economies in the world (and let's not forget...less wars). [These statistics were taken from TIME magazine.]
It really sickens me that the U.S. policy has been to keep your bible out in front of you, and your gun(s) behind your back. It seems to me like the world's largest oxymoron. I don't think Jesus bought himself a .45 at Walmart, in case the fish trick got him laughed offstage. Lies have replaced good policy, and we seems to be fine with that.
I understand that the U.S. has a large military, and I'm obviously not going to change that (or the "terr-ists" win). However, I fail to see how my lack of being a sheep, and my lack of 400 U.S. flag decals makes me any less of a citizen. After all, George Bush Sr. said he didn't think atheists should be considered citizens...and Sarah Palin saying that In God We Trust was "good enough for the founding fathers, and good enough for me". It's too bad that phrase was put on currency in the 1950s. But we don't need facts anymore, just a loud voice. Which many of us on the other side of the fence are reluctant to use.
After reading many things lately on U.S. norms and religion (as I said, the 2 are always joined at the hip), I have been opened up to a side that I hitherto have not spotted.
Religion has undue respect.
Don't believe in a war? Conscientious objector?
"YOU COWARD! YOU UNPATRIOTIC COMMIE!"
Oh, it's against your religion?
"You're a brave man, I respect your views."
BULLSHIT.
Why do people respect bishops? and the pope?
They're just men in funny hats who believe the same weird crap!
Why give them any more respect than a guy walking down the street?
I'm no longer going to give religion the blind respect that people believe it "deserves". I'm not going to go out of my way to insult anyone (anymore than I probably have in my rants), because I have morals. But if I'm told to respect someone's silly beliefs...sorry. It's not happening.
This country needs to pull itself out of the endless lies and stupidity. We need to stop believing all the shit the media and politicians feed us, just so they can get elected and then foreclose your home and steal your wallet. I've known too many people (and I'm not even counting the entire country for the last 8 years here) who have been screwed over and lied to by whom they described as "a good, christian man".
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Hypocrisy Tastes Like Chicken
The following article is great. Lib sent it to me, and of course, I'm not one to shut up. I love the fact that the entire RNC has been "Obama's not experienced" and "Palin's such a great woman/mother/American/look at my daughter's boyfriend who I threatened to eat if he didn't marry her/Jesus wants me to drill in Alaska/Oh, wait! Look at the kitty!"
Yet when Palin's experience comes into question, the Repubs call it "sexism".
Say what?
Remember that whole FEMALE CANDIDATE HILLARY THING?
...Dumbass.
The RNC is really stretching itself here.
Saying that Palin is good enough to fight the Russians because she took on one corrupt official, Jesus spoke to her and said he wants her to drill for oil in the wilderness (and apparently kill a shitload of his animal creations...seriously, why not send another flood?), and that being a mother who HERSELF got married because she was pregnant, then doesn't believe in contraception so her DAUGHTER gets pregnant, and now has a 4 month old child with Down's Syndrome...and so you go for the VP spot?
HUH?
Anyway, read this article, because I'm not going away until I can turn at least one lifeform (even if its that kitty) away from the Dark Side.
Yet when Palin's experience comes into question, the Repubs call it "sexism".
Say what?
Remember that whole FEMALE CANDIDATE HILLARY THING?
...Dumbass.
The RNC is really stretching itself here.
Saying that Palin is good enough to fight the Russians because she took on one corrupt official, Jesus spoke to her and said he wants her to drill for oil in the wilderness (and apparently kill a shitload of his animal creations...seriously, why not send another flood?), and that being a mother who HERSELF got married because she was pregnant, then doesn't believe in contraception so her DAUGHTER gets pregnant, and now has a 4 month old child with Down's Syndrome...and so you go for the VP spot?
HUH?
Anyway, read this article, because I'm not going away until I can turn at least one lifeform (even if its that kitty) away from the Dark Side.
*Just for the record, I browsed photos of Palin before finding the above one...has anyone else noticed that she has had some massive plastic surgery? Check some before and afters...she had a nice smile before, and now she has no lips. Politically irrelevant, just interesting.
GOP cites Palin's skill, but how relevant is it?
By TED ANTHONY
AP National Writer
ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) -- Wait, now, say the Republicans. You think that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin lacks experience? You think that at 44, with less than two years running the nation's northernmost state, she doesn't have what it takes yet to be a heartbeat away from the presidency?
Pshaw.
What about the fact that she stood up to embattled Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens? What about her oversight of her state's National Guard contingent? Her experience as a mother? And, hey - what about the fact that she runs a state that happens to be very close to Russia?
Each of these characteristics has been cited by a Republican since Friday as an ingredient in John McCain's conclusion that Palin is qualified to become vice president of the United States.
"She has experience not only in politics but in life," former Republican Sen. Fred Thompson of Tennessee said Sunday on CNN.
None of this suggests that Sarah Palin is not a skilled, competent, multitalented public servant. But it means that, in the face of fierce Democratic assertions that she is too green to be elevated to vice president, the GOP is looking for whatever it can to show that's not the case and to bolster her credentials, particularly in national security.
And in some cases, the responses from Republicans who showed up on the Sunday morning talk-show circuit to promote Palin's qualifications are unexpected, to say the least.
Thompson: "She's a mother of five children. ... And she has more experience than Barack Obama."
Sen. Lindsay Graham of South Carolina: "Governor Palin took on Ted Stevens. If she can take him on, she can take on the Russians." Stevens, a Republican senator, is facing corruption charges and running for re-election.
Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty: "Palin is commander-in-chief of the Alaskan National Guard." The state's Guard has about 4,000 members.
From McCain's wife, Cindy, came a geographic assessment of qualification: "Alaska is the closest part of our continent to Russia. So, it's not as if she doesn't understand what's at stake here."
What these traits say about Palin's ability to serve as vice president or, in an emergency, as president is not entirely clear. But the flurry of comments by leading Republicans hint at a flood-the-zone strategy when it comes to Palin, whose gender, Christian faith and conservative chops infused a lively crackle into John McCain's campaign during the weekend between the two national conventions.
The GOP has also implied that Democratic reactions to Palin's selection are sexist, particularly since, they contend, her time as Alaska's governor gives her the edge over Barack Obama in executive experience. Obama, 47, has spent almost 12 years in office, all of it as a lawmaker - eight years as an Illinois state senator and nearly four as a U.S. senator. Palin's total is 12 - she spent 10 as a city council member and mayor, and nearly two as governor.
"If they want to go down that route, in all candor, she has far more experience than Senator Obama does," McCain said Sunday in St. Louis.
Democrats insist sexism isn't at play. "It's not the woman issue at all," former Democratic Sen. Tom Daschle of South Dakota said Sunday on CNN. "There are a lot of other Republican women who could have filled this role if that is what he was looking for" - such as Texas Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison or Connecticut Gov. M. Jodi Rell.
Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, appearing on CBS' "Face the Nation," saw a kindred spirit in Palin's experience as mayor, despite the fact that her town, Wasilla, has about 7,000 people and his had nearly 8 million when 9/11 happened.
"Maybe it's my own background as a mayor and United States attorney, but this whole idea of executive experience to me would really qualify her," Giuliani said. He dismissed questions about the size of the town she ran. "You know why? She had to make decisions. All Sen. Obama has had to do is talk. That's all he does."
Some of the comments seemed a bit non-sequitur. Russia, for example.
Maj. Gen. Craig Campbell, adjutant general of the Alaska National Guard, considers Palin "extremely responsive and smart" and says she is in charge when it comes to in-state services, such as emergencies and natural disasters where the National Guard is the first responder.
But, in an interview with The Associated Press on Sunday, he said he and Palin play no role in national defense activities, even when they involve the Alaska National Guard. The entire operation is under federal control, and the governor is not briefed on situations.
Stephen C. Donehoo, managing director of Kissinger McLarty Associates in Washington, and former military intelligence officer specializing in Latin America:
"No doubt the campaign staff have her hooked up to a fire hose on foreign policy issues," said Stephen C. Donehoo, managing director of Kissinger McLarty Associates in Washington and a former military intelligence officer.
"No doubt they fear a debate with Joe Biden that touches foreign affairs," Donehoo said. "My guess is Graham and (Joe) Lieberman are doing a lot of tutoring."
Republican Sen. Norm Coleman of Minnesota appears to have no such worries, given what he considers to be Obama's lack of experience.
"The president sets the tone," Coleman said. "The experience issue is on the other side. The No. 1 guy there is the guy without the experience."
GOP cites Palin's skill, but how relevant is it?
By TED ANTHONY
AP National Writer
ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) -- Wait, now, say the Republicans. You think that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin lacks experience? You think that at 44, with less than two years running the nation's northernmost state, she doesn't have what it takes yet to be a heartbeat away from the presidency?
Pshaw.
What about the fact that she stood up to embattled Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens? What about her oversight of her state's National Guard contingent? Her experience as a mother? And, hey - what about the fact that she runs a state that happens to be very close to Russia?
Each of these characteristics has been cited by a Republican since Friday as an ingredient in John McCain's conclusion that Palin is qualified to become vice president of the United States.
"She has experience not only in politics but in life," former Republican Sen. Fred Thompson of Tennessee said Sunday on CNN.
None of this suggests that Sarah Palin is not a skilled, competent, multitalented public servant. But it means that, in the face of fierce Democratic assertions that she is too green to be elevated to vice president, the GOP is looking for whatever it can to show that's not the case and to bolster her credentials, particularly in national security.
And in some cases, the responses from Republicans who showed up on the Sunday morning talk-show circuit to promote Palin's qualifications are unexpected, to say the least.
Thompson: "She's a mother of five children. ... And she has more experience than Barack Obama."
Sen. Lindsay Graham of South Carolina: "Governor Palin took on Ted Stevens. If she can take him on, she can take on the Russians." Stevens, a Republican senator, is facing corruption charges and running for re-election.
Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty: "Palin is commander-in-chief of the Alaskan National Guard." The state's Guard has about 4,000 members.
From McCain's wife, Cindy, came a geographic assessment of qualification: "Alaska is the closest part of our continent to Russia. So, it's not as if she doesn't understand what's at stake here."
What these traits say about Palin's ability to serve as vice president or, in an emergency, as president is not entirely clear. But the flurry of comments by leading Republicans hint at a flood-the-zone strategy when it comes to Palin, whose gender, Christian faith and conservative chops infused a lively crackle into John McCain's campaign during the weekend between the two national conventions.
The GOP has also implied that Democratic reactions to Palin's selection are sexist, particularly since, they contend, her time as Alaska's governor gives her the edge over Barack Obama in executive experience. Obama, 47, has spent almost 12 years in office, all of it as a lawmaker - eight years as an Illinois state senator and nearly four as a U.S. senator. Palin's total is 12 - she spent 10 as a city council member and mayor, and nearly two as governor.
"If they want to go down that route, in all candor, she has far more experience than Senator Obama does," McCain said Sunday in St. Louis.
Democrats insist sexism isn't at play. "It's not the woman issue at all," former Democratic Sen. Tom Daschle of South Dakota said Sunday on CNN. "There are a lot of other Republican women who could have filled this role if that is what he was looking for" - such as Texas Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison or Connecticut Gov. M. Jodi Rell.
Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, appearing on CBS' "Face the Nation," saw a kindred spirit in Palin's experience as mayor, despite the fact that her town, Wasilla, has about 7,000 people and his had nearly 8 million when 9/11 happened.
"Maybe it's my own background as a mayor and United States attorney, but this whole idea of executive experience to me would really qualify her," Giuliani said. He dismissed questions about the size of the town she ran. "You know why? She had to make decisions. All Sen. Obama has had to do is talk. That's all he does."
Some of the comments seemed a bit non-sequitur. Russia, for example.
Maj. Gen. Craig Campbell, adjutant general of the Alaska National Guard, considers Palin "extremely responsive and smart" and says she is in charge when it comes to in-state services, such as emergencies and natural disasters where the National Guard is the first responder.
But, in an interview with The Associated Press on Sunday, he said he and Palin play no role in national defense activities, even when they involve the Alaska National Guard. The entire operation is under federal control, and the governor is not briefed on situations.
Stephen C. Donehoo, managing director of Kissinger McLarty Associates in Washington, and former military intelligence officer specializing in Latin America:
"No doubt the campaign staff have her hooked up to a fire hose on foreign policy issues," said Stephen C. Donehoo, managing director of Kissinger McLarty Associates in Washington and a former military intelligence officer.
"No doubt they fear a debate with Joe Biden that touches foreign affairs," Donehoo said. "My guess is Graham and (Joe) Lieberman are doing a lot of tutoring."
Republican Sen. Norm Coleman of Minnesota appears to have no such worries, given what he considers to be Obama's lack of experience.
"The president sets the tone," Coleman said. "The experience issue is on the other side. The No. 1 guy there is the guy without the experience."
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Strange Things You Learn at IMDB
So, I decided to poke around a bit on IMDB.com tonight, mostly because we were talking about "The Neverending Story", so I decided to do a sort of Where Are They Now? of my own. I followed some random links, and learned some interesting (and in some cases disturbing) thing:
Barrett Oliver, the little kid who played Bastian in "Neverending Story" and Daryl in the cyborg-child movie "D.A.R.Y.L." immediately disappeared from the movie business (despite his rising stardom) because making "D.A.R.Y.L." left him with the realization that child stars are seen and used as a way to make cheap millions by the film industry. He's now a teacher and has long hair and a beard.
Jonathan Brandis, best known for his roles in "It" and "Seaquest DSV" (and also auditioned for the role of Anakin Skywalker in "Attack of the Clones" in 2002), committed suicide in 2003 by hanging himself.
Noah Hathaway, who played Atreyu in "Neverending Story", now lives in Miami and owns "5150 Choppers", a motorcycle shop.
Dabney Coleman was diagnosed with age-related macular degeneration (AMD) but took part in a clinical trial which remedied his sight from 20-400 to 20-40 in just a week.
Natalie Wood was the star of "Rebel Without a Cause" and "West Side Story". Her body was found floating facedown off Catalina Island in 1981.
Some facts about Jeff Cohen, who played Chunk in "The Goonies":
1. He is currently an Entertainment Lawyer in Los Angeles.
2. He was the President of the Associated Students of UC Berkeley and used to do the Truffle Shuffle on the sidelines during football games.
3. To generate tears during his "confession" scene with the Fratellis, he thought of his mother dying.
Interesting Tim Curry facts:
1. Was Tim Burton's second choice for the role of the Joker in "Batman" (1989).
2. He turned down the role of Mitzi in "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" (1994)
And finally, the truth behind the death of Heather O'Rourke, who played Carol Anne in Poltergeist:
*****In January 1987, Heather began to have flu-like symptoms and her legs and feet swelled. She was taken to Kaiser Hospital, and they confirmed it was only the flu, but when symptoms continued, they diagnosed her as having Crohn's Disease, a chronic inflammation of the intestine. She was on medication throughout the filming of her next project, Poltergeist III (1988), and her cheeks were puffy in some scenes. She never complained during filming and did not appear sick to fellow cast members. When filming temporarily stopped in June, Heather and her family went on a road trip from Chicago, to New Orleans, to Orlando and all the way back to Lakeside where they lived at the time. Heather was well until January 31, 1988, Super Bowl Sunday. She was unable to keep anything in her stomach and crawled into bed with her parents that night, saying that she didn't feel well. The next morning, February 1, sitting at the breakfast table, she couldn't swallow her toast or Gatorade. Her mother noticed her fingers were blue and her hands were cold. Kathleen called the doctor's and was getting ready to put her clothes on when Heather fainted on the kitchen floor. When the paramedics came in, Heather insisted that she was "really okay" and was worried about missing school that day. In the ambulance, Heather suffered cardiac arrest and died on the operating table at 2:43 p.m. at the tender age of 12. Cause was listed as cardiopulmonary arrest and intestinal stenosis.
Barrett Oliver, the little kid who played Bastian in "Neverending Story" and Daryl in the cyborg-child movie "D.A.R.Y.L." immediately disappeared from the movie business (despite his rising stardom) because making "D.A.R.Y.L." left him with the realization that child stars are seen and used as a way to make cheap millions by the film industry. He's now a teacher and has long hair and a beard.
Jonathan Brandis, best known for his roles in "It" and "Seaquest DSV" (and also auditioned for the role of Anakin Skywalker in "Attack of the Clones" in 2002), committed suicide in 2003 by hanging himself.
Noah Hathaway, who played Atreyu in "Neverending Story", now lives in Miami and owns "5150 Choppers", a motorcycle shop.
Dabney Coleman was diagnosed with age-related macular degeneration (AMD) but took part in a clinical trial which remedied his sight from 20-400 to 20-40 in just a week.
Natalie Wood was the star of "Rebel Without a Cause" and "West Side Story". Her body was found floating facedown off Catalina Island in 1981.
Some facts about Jeff Cohen, who played Chunk in "The Goonies":
1. He is currently an Entertainment Lawyer in Los Angeles.
2. He was the President of the Associated Students of UC Berkeley and used to do the Truffle Shuffle on the sidelines during football games.
3. To generate tears during his "confession" scene with the Fratellis, he thought of his mother dying.
Interesting Tim Curry facts:
1. Was Tim Burton's second choice for the role of the Joker in "Batman" (1989).
2. He turned down the role of Mitzi in "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" (1994)
And finally, the truth behind the death of Heather O'Rourke, who played Carol Anne in Poltergeist:
*****In January 1987, Heather began to have flu-like symptoms and her legs and feet swelled. She was taken to Kaiser Hospital, and they confirmed it was only the flu, but when symptoms continued, they diagnosed her as having Crohn's Disease, a chronic inflammation of the intestine. She was on medication throughout the filming of her next project, Poltergeist III (1988), and her cheeks were puffy in some scenes. She never complained during filming and did not appear sick to fellow cast members. When filming temporarily stopped in June, Heather and her family went on a road trip from Chicago, to New Orleans, to Orlando and all the way back to Lakeside where they lived at the time. Heather was well until January 31, 1988, Super Bowl Sunday. She was unable to keep anything in her stomach and crawled into bed with her parents that night, saying that she didn't feel well. The next morning, February 1, sitting at the breakfast table, she couldn't swallow her toast or Gatorade. Her mother noticed her fingers were blue and her hands were cold. Kathleen called the doctor's and was getting ready to put her clothes on when Heather fainted on the kitchen floor. When the paramedics came in, Heather insisted that she was "really okay" and was worried about missing school that day. In the ambulance, Heather suffered cardiac arrest and died on the operating table at 2:43 p.m. at the tender age of 12. Cause was listed as cardiopulmonary arrest and intestinal stenosis.
Yup. Still Depressing.
Anyone remember this classic scene?
Does it make anyone else hopelessly emotional?
15 years later, and you still cry like a baby.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Third blog in two days! On a roll!
I just keep posting all this stuff that I find on the web. It seems everytime you go back, there's something new and inspiring. Just today I found these new tidbits.
I love the internet. Some funny shit out there, I gotta tell you.
Ask a Silly Question...
So a friend of mine (liberal) emailed me at work, admittedly bored and looking for some fun. I asked what she wanted to talk about, and she replied:
"How about how McCain is going to protect our country and ban abortion?"
So I replied:
"That's easy...
First, you give tax cuts to the rich, which depletes the amount of public funding for schools and healthcare. This leaves an open opportunity for us to shake the moneytree in McCain's backyard which will easily provide enough cash to fund 100 more years in Iraq, and enough to enroll each lower-class family in the food stamp program (gotta help the little guy, you know).
Then, by teaching Creationism in schools, children will learn the valuable lesson of how Tyrannosaurus Rex was a vegetarian, and that he (among other supposed carnivores that god turned vegetarian while they were on Noah's Ark) had massively sharp teeth and claws in order to eat bamboo and open coconuts (this is actually taught at the Creation Museum). This will give American children the "earnest" guidance they need, and it will (with the power of Jesus) mentally SHOCK them out of being gay, which will magically cure AIDS, and then no one will ever again be tempted to have sex, except for when Jesus says so (even though he's been dead for over 2 millennia now), which requires a Flag car decal and an NRA membership. And with no children being "tempted" to have sex, abortion is eliminated.
Simple.
Next question?
I would also like to point out how HILARIOUS it is that "Creationism" is not recognized by the GroupWise dictionary."
"How about how McCain is going to protect our country and ban abortion?"
So I replied:
"That's easy...
First, you give tax cuts to the rich, which depletes the amount of public funding for schools and healthcare. This leaves an open opportunity for us to shake the moneytree in McCain's backyard which will easily provide enough cash to fund 100 more years in Iraq, and enough to enroll each lower-class family in the food stamp program (gotta help the little guy, you know).
Then, by teaching Creationism in schools, children will learn the valuable lesson of how Tyrannosaurus Rex was a vegetarian, and that he (among other supposed carnivores that god turned vegetarian while they were on Noah's Ark) had massively sharp teeth and claws in order to eat bamboo and open coconuts (this is actually taught at the Creation Museum). This will give American children the "earnest" guidance they need, and it will (with the power of Jesus) mentally SHOCK them out of being gay, which will magically cure AIDS, and then no one will ever again be tempted to have sex, except for when Jesus says so (even though he's been dead for over 2 millennia now), which requires a Flag car decal and an NRA membership. And with no children being "tempted" to have sex, abortion is eliminated.
Simple.
Next question?
I would also like to point out how HILARIOUS it is that "Creationism" is not recognized by the GroupWise dictionary."
Friday, August 29, 2008
I Loves Me a Third Bush Term
Wow. McCain chose a female running mate. This would seem surprising of a man who publicly called his wife "a c**t", but as we delve deeper, we notice that it's actually quite smart. He can try to sweep up the female voters who are still whining about Hillary's loss, and more importantly try to convince working families that he is more in touch with them (Palin being "a hockey mom", and such). I would think Palin would be more than a little upset at the fact that she was chosen as a running mate (as Joy nicely put it) "just because she has a uterus", since her measly 2 years as a governor (not even anything national) nicely prepares her for the most important part of her political career...being eaten alive by Joe Biden in the debates. Which I look forward to.
So far, the outspoken aspects of Palin seem to be continuations of the fears and prejudices that Republicans thrive on: Pro-life, "Oil companies love you love time", homophobia, and creationism in schools. Which is apparently soooooo important to people who don't have healthcare, can't feed their children, and are losing their homes. Religion is, once again, the trump card to determine whether or not you are suitable to balance a budget and keep families working. May I remind you that in Sweden, one of the most successful and prosperous nations in the world, is more than 85% atheist? Nothing to argue over, I guess.
How the rest of the world sees us:
Not to mention the fact that my main beef with McCain (which is more than a little ironic) is that he is blatantly more two-faced than John Kerry (supposedly) ever was. He (Kerry) was called a "flip-flopper" during the 2004 election season, due to the fact that he was openly opposing the war (Iraq and Vietnam) that he earlier approved. We will forget (conveniently) that there is a HUGE difference between someone who said "This seems like a good idea" and later says "Oops, my bad", than McCain and Bush...who have BOTH denied their original standings! "Oh...well...uhh...I never said that. I don't recall that." Bush fed the country that for 8 years and people loved it. Then nothing gets accomplished, and we call it...progress?
I'm so friggin' sick of all the damn lies! It literally makes my chest ache watching McCain rise in the ranks, when all throughout 2000 - 2006, EVERYTIME you saw McCain he was on someone else's side! He agrees with Bush, "Oh wait, I never said that", then the Democrats, "Oh wait, I never said that". Then he switches to whatever side he thinks will make him look good. It's fucking disgusting, and people love it.
Then, when he ends up keeling over in office, the presidency will be taken over by someone who knows JACK SHIT about leading! Did you even LISTEN to Obama's speech? He wants to make the country better! He's not concerned with that endless rhetoric of pointing fingers and telling you who to blame for everything! Republicans prey on your fears. And the sad thing is...it works every time.
So far, the outspoken aspects of Palin seem to be continuations of the fears and prejudices that Republicans thrive on: Pro-life, "Oil companies love you love time", homophobia, and creationism in schools. Which is apparently soooooo important to people who don't have healthcare, can't feed their children, and are losing their homes. Religion is, once again, the trump card to determine whether or not you are suitable to balance a budget and keep families working. May I remind you that in Sweden, one of the most successful and prosperous nations in the world, is more than 85% atheist? Nothing to argue over, I guess.
How the rest of the world sees us:
Not to mention the fact that my main beef with McCain (which is more than a little ironic) is that he is blatantly more two-faced than John Kerry (supposedly) ever was. He (Kerry) was called a "flip-flopper" during the 2004 election season, due to the fact that he was openly opposing the war (Iraq and Vietnam) that he earlier approved. We will forget (conveniently) that there is a HUGE difference between someone who said "This seems like a good idea" and later says "Oops, my bad", than McCain and Bush...who have BOTH denied their original standings! "Oh...well...uhh...I never said that. I don't recall that." Bush fed the country that for 8 years and people loved it. Then nothing gets accomplished, and we call it...progress?
I'm so friggin' sick of all the damn lies! It literally makes my chest ache watching McCain rise in the ranks, when all throughout 2000 - 2006, EVERYTIME you saw McCain he was on someone else's side! He agrees with Bush, "Oh wait, I never said that", then the Democrats, "Oh wait, I never said that". Then he switches to whatever side he thinks will make him look good. It's fucking disgusting, and people love it.
Then, when he ends up keeling over in office, the presidency will be taken over by someone who knows JACK SHIT about leading! Did you even LISTEN to Obama's speech? He wants to make the country better! He's not concerned with that endless rhetoric of pointing fingers and telling you who to blame for everything! Republicans prey on your fears. And the sad thing is...it works every time.
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Vegan Zombie, and a Religious Poke.
I found this picture online, and I thought it was hilarious!
They called it "Tofu, the Vegan Zombie!"
They called it "Tofu, the Vegan Zombie!"
"Grainssssss...."
I also have one more picture that I found, which I hesistated to show at first, so I compromised with myself. I made a LINK for it, instead of posting it. That way, any hatemail I receive is unjustified.
If you hold any disapproval for the things I normally post (tough noogies), then DO NOT CLICK THE BOTTOM LINK. It's not one of those stupid "Loud scream and a huge picture of the exorcist things" (I hate those). However it IS, I must admit, a little gross...and it requires a great deal more....ummm...non-uptightness.
Here it is. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Whatever. I found it hilarious.
You came to my blog, and you chose to click the link. Simple as that.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Out of the F@&$# Blue
So I started reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins not too long ago, and I just can't put it down. Richard Dawkins says everything I've always wanted to say, but in a much more eloquent (A.K.A. "British and intelligent") way.
Among his many qualities, Dawkins is extremely quotable. He puts things so well, and at the same offering the nice little---
2 Hours Later...
While writing this, a loud, piercing sound suddenly cuts through the air.
I glanced to the callbox, where I instantly notice
it reading the dread phrase: "UH CODE BLUE".
Instinctively, I begin shouting the room number in all directions.
The on-call PA, stepping outside her office at the ringing...pops her eyes and screams "Oh, shit!", bolting toward the patient's room.
I call 911, stamp blood gas forms for the doctor, and frantically call Rapid Response. My repetitive screaming is monotonous now, as every nurse in my section is flying to that room.
10 minutes later, the doctor calls it.
Half the nurses on my floor explode into tears.
Having never been in this situation, I find myself a little speechless as well.
I normally wouldn't write about this, especially since the situation has nothing to do with my original post. Except it does.
This patient was in good condition, had no issues that the nurse said he voiced (she was bawling afterward, saying "He never complained of anything"), and ironically said his family came regularly to pray with him for a safe recovery.
I'll have to return to what I was originally posting about at a later time.
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