Ask a Silly Question...

So a friend of mine (liberal) emailed me at work, admittedly bored and looking for some fun. I asked what she wanted to talk about, and she replied:

"How about how McCain is going to protect our country and ban abortion?"

So I replied:

"That's easy...

First, you give tax cuts to the rich, which depletes the amount of public funding for schools and healthcare. This leaves an open opportunity for us to shake the moneytree in McCain's backyard which will easily provide enough cash to fund 100 more years in Iraq, and enough to enroll each lower-class family in the food stamp program (gotta help the little guy, you know).

Then, by teaching Creationism in schools, children will learn the valuable lesson of how Tyrannosaurus Rex was a vegetarian, and that he (among other supposed carnivores that god turned vegetarian while they were on Noah's Ark) had massively sharp teeth and claws in order to eat bamboo and open coconuts (this is actually taught at the Creation Museum). This will give American children the "earnest" guidance they need, and it will (with the power of Jesus) mentally SHOCK them out of being gay, which will magically cure AIDS, and then no one will ever again be tempted to have sex, except for when Jesus says so (even though he's been dead for over 2 millennia now), which requires a Flag car decal and an NRA membership. And with no children being "tempted" to have sex, abortion is eliminated.

Simple.

Next question?

I would also like to point out how HILARIOUS it is that "Creationism" is not recognized by the GroupWise dictionary."