"It Would Be Beyond My Power to Do That."

We've all had those dreams. Especially when you've had too much to drink, way too close to bedtime.

I'm talking about the "For-some-goddamn-reason-I-can't-pee-no-matter-how-hard-I-try" dreams.

Everyone I talk to has a unique version, ranging from "There's only one toilet in existence, and it's in the middle of a public room full of everyone I know" (Sarah), to "There's no such thing as toilets, and I have to find a secluded room, raise my leg up and pee in the sink" (Me).

Now I don't know about you guys, but whenever I have these dreams, it's like I'm not even really in control of my actions. It feels like a FPS (First-Person Shooter). I can see where I'm going and what I'm doing, but I'm just sort of watching it happen. Then comes the horrid realization that "Holy Shit! Toilets were never invented!", and I find myself streaking from bathroom to bathroom, bum-rushing the stalls, and each one leads to nothing. It plays out in stages, and each empty stall feels like a Commodore 64 "Spiderman" moment:

"I don't how to 'Pee'".

"...It would be beyond my power to do that."

DAMMIT!

"I don't know how to 'dammit'".

SHUT UP! Climb the elevator shaft! Fuckin' punch Sandman! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'YOU'RE IN LIMBO'?

Anyway, after running around through several rooms, all with the same empty stalls, and no urinals, and long loadtimes, I creep up to the sink and start peeing. Of course, as soon as I start, 4 people walk into the room, pointing and laughing.

...But enough about high school. It was scarring enough back then.

That's all I really had to say.

Load "ghostbusters" ,8,1 run

[SYNTAX ERROR]

List

IRON CROWN

MYCROFT MEWS

GATEWAY TO APSHAI

BERSERK

JUMPMAN

POPEYE

Q-BERT

GHOSTBUSTER
MINER 2049ER

HEIST

"Ohh!"

Load "Jumpman" ,8,1 run.

Sweet.