Judgment Day

So...okay.

I realize that I'm not the most subtle person in the world, but I'm not an asshole, either. Which is why I wanted to put this out there.

Why do I derive so much pleasure from laughing at people I know/knew who (as I come to discover) are leading pointless, farcical existences?

I've been to many sites recently. Mostly out of boredom. These sites are, but are not limited to, Facebook, Myspace, The Milan High School Alumni page, and others. I've come to discover that many people I knew way back when are still employed in childish, obviously ridiculous practices, and either live 3 blocks from where they grew up, or they moved to...like...South Dakota...and have numerous pictures on their site of them...not doing anything.

Now, here's where I attempt to justify myself.

I've mentioned this to people before. What's the inevitable response? "What about You? You still play video games!" This is true. I play video games. So do over 2 billion people on this planet. It's competitive to the porn industry. It's a worldwide hobby that many people enjoy. That's all it is, a hobby. It's NOT, like many people's practices that I'm comparing to, a lifestyle.

When the comparison comes down to me playing video games VS a 30-year-old named Tom with 2 kids having his friends call him "Demetrius" and he wears a black cape and pretends he's a vampire...

I believe there is a sliiiiiiiiiiight diffy.

I don't dress up. I don't carry around 95 swords and insist that my surname is "Destroyer of Worlds". I don't have an entire site devoted to pictures that I've drawn of myself as a superhero or a ninja. I don't write poetry that sounds like Robert Frost's five-year-old son threw up on some parchment.

I got married. I'm planning on having a family. I'm trying to finish school so I can support said family and give them the life they deserve. I believe, in any sense you really can, that I've grown up.

Why do I care about what other people do? I'm sure as shittin' not envious, which is what most people would say. So why is it?

The only thing I can think of is it's a really bad case of sour grapes. These are people who, back in the day, made fun of me for being overweight, or not fitting in, or trying too hard. Now they are doing the same thing: Gaining tons of weight, pretending they are "mysterious" when all they do is sit around all the time, and make-believing they have lives when they don't do...anything.

I feel horrible about the fact that I just spent a good 2 hours scrolling through people's sites and profiles. I'm not normally this judgmental...I don't think.

But even though we all hate to admit it, it gives a feeling of satisfaction that amidst the hardships of your own life, that it could always be worse.