It's been a really shitty week.
Let's recap so far. After all, it's only Monday:
1. Sarah and I had a big falling out. She's mad. Enough that she punched me.
2. I had a C average in Biochemistry, so I studied my ass off for an exam this morning. I confidently strolled in...and promptly flunked it. With only one exam left, this pretty much sealed my fate for not getting into nursing school this year. I cried. A lot.
3. Joy left for a funeral this morning, but went to her parents' place last night. I went to bed at midnight...I got to sleep at 4:00 AM. I got up at 7:30 to go to the exam. Came home exhausted and depressed, then spent from noon until 2:30pm trying to get more sleep. I never dozed off once.
4. I worry a lot about Joy. I always do. For some reason, I'm always afraid of something happening to her whenever I'm not there. To top things off, we were looking online at female musicians, and I remembered a beautiful, yet ultra-depressing song called "Passage" by Vienna Teng. Of course, since it's about a girl who dies in a car crash, I became uber-worried about my wife. This retarded my sleeping efforts even more so.
5. I've had a lot of people hating on me lately. I know what Joy would say.
"Nobody hates you. You take everything too personally." I'm not saying everyone hates me. I'm saying there's been too much shit going on lately, and the stress is really starting to get to me. People blaming me for things, needless tension between people, and nothing going the way it should.
This sounds like just a depression slope. It's not. I'm not usually like this. I think watching nursing school slip through my fingers is what did it. I was trying so hard. Harder than I've ever tried anything. The funny thing is, I'm still going to. Depressed as I am, I'm not going to give up completely, because then I'm just like the post office people. And that scares me more than anything else.
I'm just sick of being so tired from constantly trying so hard, and not seeing the results I need. And it only gets harder from here. If I can get that far.
Now in HD!
His Awesomeness, the Prince of Wales
So Dumbo walks into a bar...but that's irrelephant.
My Dossier
- Dann Rafferty
- Ann Arbor, MI, Liechtenstein
- I'm Vegan and an Atheist. Do you hate me yet?
2 comments:
Wanna register for the marathon this weekend? That'll lift yer spirits, ARRRG! We have to sync times, so let me know.
Believe it or not (and not many people do) I try a lot harder for things then people know...and I rarely get the result I want. Thus, it gets harder and harder to try for things. Thus, I get yelled at by family that I never try anything. It's a vicious circle.
You'll get there eventually, it just may take longer than you realized, but life gets in the way a lot. Point is, you'll be Dann-the-nurse soon enough :)
much loves
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