Thursday, May 29, 2008

My wife, The Hilarious Thingy.

So a few weeks ago, Joy and I were in the kitchen, finishing off a jumbo-sized box of shredded wheat, when I suddenly had what I considered to be a brilliant idea.

In pure Dann Fashion, I put the box over my head, adorned and looking quite smart.





Normally of course, Joy takes times like these to remind me what a strange, oddball individual I am. However, today she said something rather unusual.


"My turn. Give it to me."


She sounded positively giddy at this point. She then recreated what I like to call:


"Kellogg's Last Samurai"


This wasn't enough. Laughing hysterically, she claimed that an action shot was called for. So, grabbing my plastic toy gun from the corner (don't judge, it's years old), she struck another pose.

...and they call ME the weirdo.

Of course, these random, hilarious moments of ours are what make us so perfect for each other.


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!

I'm incredibly angry right now. I'm so mad I could throw something. AT someone. I was bored at work so I went on MySpace, looking at people's sites, and came across something interesting. One of my...acquaintances...had a list on their page of all the conservative groups they belonged to, one of which said "Stop P.E.T.A."

The switch was flipped.
Instant Rage.

I'm sorry, but is there something wrong with a group that believes it's wrong to pack crates of chickens for your lovely McNuggets so full they can't breathe?

Is there something wrong with a group who believes that if you are going to eat meat, it shouldn't be bludgeoned over the head with a tire iron?

Is there something wrong with a group who knows it is moral to treat other living, breathing, pain-feeling animals the same way we would treat ourselves?





Now, let me ask you something.

It there something wrong with the fact that you are AGAINST this group?

What have you got against animals? What did they ever do to you?


Some people find this funny.







Put it in perspective.



I know what I'm gonna hear now: "PETA is too brash and harsh. They are radical."

Oh. You're right. I'm so sorry. I forgot that standing on street corners, handing out pamphlets saying "Please treat animals with respect" really gets a lot done!

I would think people in the military would know that as well as anyone else. When diplomatic measures fail, you have to resort to more drastic methods. This is true with PETA as well. If someone doesn't do something, NOTHING will get done.

Before now, I was always a defender of PETA, but I never went the extra mile. I know, Me the hypocrite.

AFTER THIS ORDEAL. I HAVE GONE ONLINE AND REGISTERED TO JOIN PETA. THEY WILL NOW BE RECEIVING DONATIONS FROM ME AS WELL.

Thank you for making me see the light.