So, it's been about 2 months since I last posted something. I guess today would be the event that sparks some creativity into my judgmental, overly-sensitive, selfish bones.
I'm so mad right now that I just really need to explode. Let it all out.
Some people don't deserve it, others do. I can't tell which is which because at the moment I feel like I'm throwing fire at everyone I talk to...if I talk at all.
Sarah and I ran 11 miles today. I refused to even speak for a good hour of it because 5 minutes into the run, she incinuated that I was being judgmental. Not only that, but said that that's "What you do".
So, Judgy McJudgerton called out the competition.
Then I get to my mom's house, where Dad once again tells me to buy him something when I go walking with Mom. When he assumes things like that, I usually try to treat it as the child saying "I WANT CANDY!"
No questions, no asking, no simple request even....just "I'll take a Diet Mountain Dew".
Then, upon returning, puts a cardboard box in my hand and asks me how much postage it needs to mail.
Now, since I passed on the offer to have a portable cash register, scale, and rate chart built into my hand, he was a little out of luck.
Then, he asked me if one stamp would do it, which made me wig out.
"One stamp?!"
"Yeah."
"One stamp is 41 cents. That signature request you have on it is 1.70 by itself."
"You guys charge for that?"
(rolling my eyes, giving the "duh" look) "Ummm...YEAH!"
In Dad's defense, I was already angry to begin with, so he was probably doomed from the start.
Lately, I've been having this feeling that no one ever lets me just DO SOMETHING.
There is always something wrong with:
how I'm doing it,
I wasn't supposed to do it,
I didn't do it quickly enough,
you can't wear blue on a Tuesday,
no one likes your clothes,
you're judgmental,
you need to ___________ more often,
don't forget to ________,
"Why would you do that?"
"Well, why don't you ________ instead?"
I may sound harsh....but is it wrong of me to once in awhile, want everyone to just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?!
Because I don't care what you people think of me. Just let me live the way I want to, and if I do something wrong, I can learn from my own mistakes. That way, I will at least be controlling my OWN existence, instead of everyone else living it for me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I didn't want to start two hours of running with you making fun of a slow runner. Maybe you were just making a passing comment, but a lot of the family likes to call it like they see it, usually while those they talk about are still in earshot. I didn't want to deal with the negativity, so I asked you to drop it. Lord knows how I got my reputation of being the 'judgy' one; I may get exasperated by the low standards of my family members, but I don't feel the need to judge total strangers.
I know you weren't picking on her, but I couldn't start the run on a bad, um, foot. You ran really well, by the way; if I haven't already said do, thanks for doing the marathon with me. It'd be a lot harder on my own.
Post a Comment